SECTION: SPORTS; Pg. 108 BLEACHER CREATURE

LENGTH: 554 words

HEADLINE: PRETTY SOON WE'LL BE TWISTING BY THE POOL

BYLINE: BY FILIP BONDY

BODY:
It isn't often that the Creatures extend this courtesy to an opponent, but we would like to offer a lifetime honorary membership in Section 39 to Byung-Hyun Kim.

We aren't just saying that, either. Kim can come hang with us in the rightfield bleachers, or at Jeremy's Ale House, anytime he wants. He can sit between Mystique and Aura, or Water Girl and Nymphie. He can bring his hanging sliders and fat, sidearm fastballs, as guests. Thanks to Kim and to Scott Brosius, the Creatures were able to say goodbye the right way last night to the Bronx in 2001 and maybe forever to Paul O'Neill, our beloved Paul-ie.

We serenaded O'Neill below us in right, through the 12th, watched him swivel and tip his glove to us one last time during a nifty 3-2 win that sometimes had us wanting to kick a water cooler, or throw a helmet, in honor of the great man.

Now, since we won't be there to celebrate the championship on Sunday at The Bob, the Creatures can only offer some suggestions to the Yankees about how to behave like bad winners.

Maybe the Yanks should crawl around the bases in snake formation. Tony Capone says that Don Zimmer ought to perform a belly flop and/or cannonball into the pool, preferably before all the yuppies have been cleared from the water.

It's just a shame that most of the Creatures can't afford the trip to watch Randy Johnson embarrass himself. Instead, most of us will be toasting our next great victory at Jeremy's Ale House.

We invite all comers who are not women with boyfriends and not non-drinkers.

And this is important: When the Yankees huddle up to celebrate the title, the Creatures do not want to hear polite applause from earnest Diamondback fans who are hoping to somehow link the New York team with patriotism.

"They're probably going to give us one of those sympathy cheers, because of all the terrorism stuff," Tom Brown said. "New York gets treated like the guy who gets gored by the bull at the rodeo. And we don't want no pity cheers."

The Creatures had hoped for a more relaxed Game 5 last night, because Game 4 had taken its toll. Mike March was sick to his stomach, and not just from remembering that he'd kissed Jimmy on the cheek after Derek Jeter's homer.

"Can we please just have a blowout this time?" March said. "My stomach can't handle it."

No such luck. The Creatures were forced to heckle Reggie Sanders through our bumps and bruises, caused Wednesday by rolling around, mosh-pit style, more than at any time since 1996.

While we are on the subject of championship seasons, it is important to put something on the record, finally. The Creatures consider this upcoming title to be our sixth in eight years, not our fifth in six years.

We are convinced that the Yankees would have won the World Series in 1994, if one had been held. Nobody was going to beat us.

"The Expos aren't even going to exist soon, so they can't make a claim to anything," Sheriff Tom said.

In Section 39, honorary home of Kim, we've made a vow to return next spring with even better taunts. "Hip-hip, Jorge," which began in the upper deck, has raised the ante -- even though it's far too choreographed for the Creatures.

Bad Mouth Larry actually stood up and tried the Jorge chant.

"I feel dirty," Larry said.

Very soon, after one more win, Larry will mostly feel drunk.

GRAPHIC: LINDA CATAFFO DAILY NEWS OBVIOUS SIGN It appears this fan thinks rather highly of Derek Jeter, who won Game 4 with 10th-inning homer.

LOAD-DATE: November 2, 2001