Copyright 2003 Daily News, L.P.  
Daily News (New York)
October 9, 2003, Thursday SPORTS FINAL EDITION
SECTION: SPORTS; Pg. 87 BLEACHER CREATURE

LENGTH: 578 words

HEADLINE: GOTTA TEASE SOX BEFORE FINISHING 'EM OFF

BYLINE: BY FILIP BONDY

BODY:
Remember the good old days, when the Creatures simply wandered off before playoff games to the Sandlot Suites across 161st St. in Macombs Dam Park? When the beer flowed like water there, in the little park by the running track, and when nobody seemed to mind those harmless trails of urine?

"It's become some kind of gym haven for health fanatics now," Blue Lou complained. "Us drinking on the sidelines apparently disturbed them."

The cops closed off that area  a couple of years ago, and it hasn't been easy for the Creatures ever since. We've roamed about like nomadic castoffs, searching for a place to get responsibly high, at a reasonable price, in the late afternoon.

The bodega was nice, but it was tough to commune with nature from the back room, next to the food crates. So yesterday, again, several members of the Section 39 crew headed to Crackhead Park, a few blocks east of the bleachers.

"We're like spotted elks being driven out of our environs," said Mike Donahue. "We've tried other places. But believe me, Crackhead Park is a lot better than the alternatives."

After a few hours at this charming garden spot with the descriptive name, the group wandered to the top of a parking garage, ignoring false rumors of a police crackdown there. On the top deck, there wasn't a Red Sox fan in sight, which is always a good thing.

"It's not a curse with them, it's a way of life," Mr. Make-It-Happen said.

"They're bred into it," Blue Lou agreed. "The father tells the son, 'You will root for the Red Sox and be a loser, like me. You will suffer like my grandfather, and his grandfather.' "

Most of the Creatures decided that winning four straight against Boston wouldn't be nearly enough fun. It was better to stretch out the agony a bit for the Sox fans, to finish them off back in the Bronx during Game 6.

"A sweep would be boring," said Milton Ousland, the cowbell man. "We've got to tease 'em, give 'em a taste of victory."

Milton was wearing a soft cast on his right ankle, which he had sprained by tripping and falling over nothing in particular the other day. This was the injury that caused him to miss most of Game 2 against the Twins. He insisted the swollen ankle wouldn't affect his cowbell playing, which has received considerable criticism lately, even before the injury.

Milton has been picked on, occasionally. He remains furious that he was not invited to Sheriff Tom's wedding over the summer, yet another example of the sort of schisms that must be avoided among the Creatures during a key series such as this one.

While Milton griped, Scalper John was carrying around his little homemade sign that said, "Will trade two box seat tickets for one bleacher ticket." The last time the Yankees opened an ALCS against Boston in 1999, Scalper John went flying from his seat onto Suzy's lap in Game 1.

There are some who insist that his tumble was no accident.

Eventually, our thirsts sated, the Creatures wandered from the garage deck toward eden, toward Section 39 in right field. We have discovered new, good-luck sitting positions, which helped the Yankees sustain rallies and defeat the Twins.

For instance, it is very good luck for T.J., the 7-year-old Creature in training, to be choking Tina Lewis, which he seems to do with some regularity.

"We scored a big run against the Twins while he was strangling me last time," Tina said.

The assault will have to be replicated in the future, if a big run is required.



LOAD-DATE: October 9, 2003