Copyright 2003 Daily News, L.P. Daily News (New York)
October 16, 2003, Thursday SPORTS FINAL EDITION
SECTION: SPORTS; Pg. 76 BLEACHER CREATURE
LENGTH: 586 words
HEADLINE: HECKLING COMFORTS CREATURES
BYLINE: BY FILIP BONDY
BODY: Hard
to believe, but apparently not everybody is bleeding pinstripes in the
autumnal spirit of the right-field fans. Outside the parking garage
yesterday by the Stadium, Police Officer Gerard Urciouli was vowing to
make life miserable for as many Bleacher Creatures as possible.
"I
hate the Creatures and their big mouths, and you can write that," said
Urciouli, who is from the Bronx but is a big Met fan. "They're all from
New Jersey, Connecticut, the outer suburbs. The real fans from the
city, they root for the Mets."
Urciouli
said he hoped the Red Sox win the series, which is like hoping that
beer is free at Stan's on River Ave. during the World Series, instead
of seven bucks. A couple of cops with Urciouli said they'd been up to
Fenway this week and that the fans there were all very nice. "Much
softer," one cop said, like that's something the Creatures should
aspire to.
Then Urciouli cheered his
approval at a Boston fan walking by the Stadium, dressed in red, as the
guy passed through the alleyway.
"Tell them to watch their mouths," Urciouli told the Filip Creature, about his friends. "And tell them we want Blue Lou."
Well,
it's a little difficult to get back to the business of being a Creature
after an encounter like that one, but one has to make the effort. The
police presence before and during games is so pervasive, the Creatures
have been forced to drink beer out of paper bags or, worse, wimpy paper
cups.
You do what you have to do, in order
to be there when Boston loses another series. The Creatures debated
whether they preferred beating the Sox in six or seven games, because
each had its advantages. Victory in six would have allowed Bald Ray
(who is from Brooklyn, Urciouli should know) to attend the Colombian
Club dance at the United Nations tonight. He is a regular at these U.N.
dances, and highly recommends them.
But victory in seven would give the Creatures a shot at heckling and ruining Pedro Martinez, which was tempting as well.
In
either case, everybody agreed it was good to eliminate the Red Sox in
New York, instead of beating them in four or five games at Boston.
"They
just don't get it," Mike Donahue said, about the few Red Sox fans who
dare visit the bleachers. "No matter how many times they watch the same
movie, they don't want to believe it ends the same way. But it does.
You can watch 'Titanic' all you want, the boat still sinks every time."
Blue
Lou, unintimidated by police officers or political correctness, said it
was time to tell Red Sox fans to "go home and kick their dogs." Then
the Creatures started thinking ahead to the World Series, without yet
knowing at the time whether it would be against the Marlins or Cubs.
The
Yankees have already beaten the Braves, the Padres, the Mutts. They
would have beaten the Diamondbacks in 2001, but too much political
weirdness was going on at the time to distract the team and the
Creatures. It wasn't easy deciding which city, Chicago or Miami, better
deserved to be demoralized and humiliated by the Creatures.
Most
voted for Miami, because the weather was better, and tickets would be
easier to get. Donahue said that playing the Cubs would be, "like
beating up a kid with glasses." America would hate the Creatures, even
more than usual.
Then the wind kicked up
again, blowing a plastic bag clear over the roof of an adjacent
building, and knocking an empty beer cup down below, near yet another
police officer. The cup missed. No harm, no ticket.
Document 90 of 407. 
