Copyright 2004 Daily News, L.P.

Daily News (New York)
October 13, 2004 Wednesday
SPORTS FINAL EDITION
SECTION: SPORTS; BLEACHER CREATURE; Pg. 61

LENGTH: 666 words

HEADLINE: CREATURES SUMMON CURSE JUST THE TICKET AGAINST SOX

BYLINE: BY FILIP BONDY

BODY:


You think it's easy being a Yankee fan? The Creatures are very concerned about the length of the World Series that will begin in the Bronx late next week, because it may cut into the planning for Bald Vinny's Halloween party.

Other than that, Game 1 was one long celebration, an endless "Who's your daddy?" serenade. It ended about the way most of Section 39 figured it would, which is the same way the last 85 years have been ending. There were a few potholes near the end, but then Mariano Rivera filled them and the Yanks won, 10-7. Only the non-believers in the crowd were sweating. Midget Mike decided the series was basically over, now that Curt Schilling had lost.

The very idea that the Yankees were listed as underdogs going into Game 1 was proof enough for Connecticut Joe Pellegrino that Vegas is losing its tenuous hold on pseudo-reality.

"It shows drugs have made their way out there," said Connecticut Joe, who is from that wacky Section 37. Joe predicted Bubba Crosby will become this year's Aaron Boone and Bucky Dent, because his name starts with "B" and he is just obscure enough to drive Red Sox fans insane. But it doesn't look like there will be much need for that sort of 11th-hour heroism, because the Yankees need just three more victories for a sweep and a merciful end to the hype.

"This series is so played out," Midget Mike complained (Midget Mike is always complaining). "It's boring listening to Red Sox fans. I can't stand listening to them."

For some reason, it was harder than usual last night to find Sox fans in the bleachers. Maybe they've given up, finally, but more likely they couldn't find tickets. Too many Creatures have season tickets, with playoff options. And they're picking up their options.

All the core fans came for this one, including Donald Simpson. Section 39's only known millionaire was not going to miss the Red Sox. Donald has a new girlfriend, who works at the United Nations (same place as Bald Ray) and watches these games with him in the bleachers. They are becoming a celebrity couple, same as Rose and Vinny.

"The Curse overcomes everything," Donald said, predicting a Yankee victory. "This is Boston's best shot to win, and they should win, but they won't. That's what will make this so sweet."

The pressing issue before Game 1 was not Schilling's high fastballs. Discussion centered on where the Creatures would congregate to talk baseball, get inebriated and mock Red Sox fans. A barbecue was tentatively scheduled for the parking lot roof, but the fear was that police would initiate a crackdown against tailgating. When it comes to Yankee-Red Sox games, any form of pregame enjoyment is frowned upon by law enforcement. Police are everywhere, riding the ramps in little white carts and handing out tickets like they are advertisements to a strip club.

The bleacher fans had learned the hard way in 2003 that drinking their beer out of cups, instead of straight out of bottles, was not enough to avoid citations during the ALCS. So the Creatures were forced into retreat yesterday, toward the overpriced bars. And Mike Donahue smuggled four ounces of vodka in a hollowed-out cell phone.

"Last year we were busted, and the beers were in cups," Sheriff Tom Brown said. "Come to think of it, the time before when I got busted, you guessed it . . . the beer was in a cup. The cops don't want alcohol. And when Boston is in town, they smell trouble, and they will root it out. You think I want to spend $30-$40 for six beers in two hours in a bar before the game? Hell no. Will I? To avoid these cops, hell yeah."

Brown suggested the Yankee Tavern or Newsroom, near the old bodega hiding spot. Donahue and Midget Mike bopped into Stan's, while they argued about whether Columbus Day should be a holiday.

"This just proves we'll argue about anything," Bald Vinny said.

P.S.: The fans want Red Sox nuts Matt Damon and Ben Affleck to know they are welcome in Section 39, any time they wish. They will find the Bleacher Creatures extremely videogenic.

GRAPHIC: BRYAN SMITH The Force won't be much help to Pedro Martinez as he gets more bad news from Evil Empire fan to go with 0-1 deficit.

LOAD-DATE: October 13, 2004