Copyright 2004 Daily News, L.P.

Daily News (New York)
October 16, 2004 Saturday
SPORTS FINAL EDITION
SECTION: SPORTS; Pg. 50

LENGTH: 660 words

HEADLINE: Like apples and beans Yanks, Sox fans more similar than they think

BYLINE: BY FILIP BONDY

BODY:


BOSTON - Why can't we all just get along? Why can't New Yorkers be more gracious about our incessant winning, so that Bostonians can be less sore about their chronic losing?

Isn't it time that those of us from the five boroughs become more compassionate guardians to a good son like Pedro Martinez?

Yang, make nice to yin. As I walk around here on Yawkey Way (pronounced, "YANG-kee"), I recognize now that our two cities are cut from the same jersey. We're more alike than we are different, in so many ways.

Twenty ways, to be exact:

1. Both of us have baseball teams in the American League that have combined for 26 championships in the last 85 years.

2. Both of us are so blue on the political spectrum, the red guys don't even bother to bombard us with paid, political ads. They know we won't turn purple. (We both have two Democratic senators and a Republican governor. Terry Francona didn't work for Mitt Romney the way that Joe Torre campaigned for George Pataki, but then maybe Francona wasn't asked.)

3. Both of us pretend we have NFL teams, even though those franchises play in faraway suburbs lacking mass transit. Boston even likes to pretend it has a champion.

4. Both of us try to build new stadiums every so often, only to realize just in time that it would be an incredibly stupid, expensive idea. Then we abandon the fancy blueprints and raise ticket prices, the American way. (Red Sox owners occasionally stick a few more seats on one side of Fenway and hope the place doesn't topple over.)

5. Both of us have lousy weather. Boston's lousy weather is actually hand-me-down weather from New York, after we've outgrown the low pressure systems.

6. Both of us are newspaper towns, with crazy Murdoch tabloids and a broadsheet run by the same owners at The New York Times. New York wins on the tiebreaker, though, because we have The News with its Bleacher Creature columns.

7. Both of us think baseball is more important than any of the other professional sports, a sentiment that is shared by ... almost nobody.

8. Both of us put up with outrageously overpriced real estate and hotels. (I'm paying $399 per night at a Marriott, and there's not a single bottle of Evian in my room!)

9. Both of us have fans who chant a lot, and consume their weight in alcohol whenever agitated. Both groups are often agitated.

10. Both of us fought on the same side of most major wars, including the Civil War but excluding Yankees-Red Sox and Celtics-Knicks.

11. Both of us think Roger Clemens is a mercenary traitor, and wonder where David Cone went.

12. Both of us hosted Italy's World Cup games in 1994 (okay, that's a stretch).

13. Both of us have a big, dirty river. Ours is named after a great English mariner and explorer. Boston's river is inexplicably named after Charles Finley, former owner of the Oakland A's.

14. Both of us have the worst drivers in the world, and pedestrians who take their lives into their hands whenever they cross on the green (which they never do).

15. Both of us have subway systems, though ours is a real one and theirs is a very cute Lionel train model.

16. Both of us have high-profile marathons that are won by Kenyans whose names we can't recall.

17. Both of us have bad pro basketball teams that used to be very good basketball teams.

18. Both of us used to have Original Six hockey teams, until they were locked out of existence. That's okay, though, because neither of them won championships very often.

19. Both cities have eliminated legal parking spaces on their streets. If you park anywhere, you will be towed. If you get towed in New York, your car will be moved to Boston. If you get towed in Boston, your car will be moved to New York, where it will be stolen and end up in Jersey City.

20. Both of us thought Babe Ruth was a fine baseball player. But only one of us wanted to pay him.

filipbondy@netscape.net

AP

While Boston fans may be the only ones miserable in October, they certainly find company when the NBA season rolls around.

LOAD-DATE: October 21, 2004